If I Didn't Believe in You
by Rana Mya
Summary: RonHarry sonfic.......the song is from The Last Five Years. Random muse moment.


**This is a songifc! A mix of my two favorite things musical theatre and Harry Potter**

**If I didn't believe in You**

Harry waited outside the door which Ron had locked... again they had done this a thousand and one times since the war ended but it never got any better. There was a party in Harry's honor and Ron refused to go...again.

**There's a party that they're throwing**

**And while you've made it very clear that you're not going**

**I will be going**

**And that's done**

**But what's it really about?**

**Is it really about a party?**

**Can we please for a minute stop blaming**

**And say what you feel?**

**Is it just that you're disappointed**

**To be touring again for the summer?**

**Did you think this would all be much easier**

**Than it's turned out to be?**

**Well, then talk to me, **

**Talk to me**

It's the same old story, Ron tends to be ignored at these events and well, nobody likes being ignored . Harry can understand but they've already said that they were going and it would be rude to just not show up. Besides it's a party from him and well if he can he likes to make them. He still feels a strong sense of duty to the wizarding world, even if he's done what he was supposed to. Ron doesn't understand that he has a duty still and will always lock himself in the room and not listen to reason. Harry has started to go anyway, because he doesn't think it really matters if Ron comes with him or not and he isn't going to force him.

**If I didn't believe in you**

**We'd never have gotten this far**

**If I didn't believe in you**

**And all of the ten thousand people you are**

**If I didn't think you could do**

**Anything you ever wanted to**

**If I wasn't certain that you'd come through somehow**

**The fact of the matter is**

**I wouldn't be standing here now**

Harry is going to be late he just knows it but still he is standing outside the locked door and begging Ron to come out and go to the party with him. He needs him to be there for him just this one more time. Ron still doesn't understand that it has nothing to do with THEIR relationship. He tries to tell him that but still gets no answer. Harry loves him, he does and wants to spend this time with him but Ron just refuses and it hurts more than he'd like to admit. They've lost something and he's not sure if they can ever get it back and it just hurts so bad. Ron is just jealous that Harry is famous and he isn't, he deserves it just as much as anybody but he won't ever get it because he's always been defined by Harry. At least that's what he thinks.

**If I didn't believe in you**

**We wouldn't be having this fight**

**If I didn't believe in you**

**I'd walk out the door and say,**

**'Ron, you're right'**

**But I never could let that go**

**Knowing the things about you I know**

**Things, when I met you four years ago, I knew**

**It never took much convincing**

**To make me believe in you**

Harry is trying this one last time to get Ron to come out and go with him to the party. Yelling at the top of his lungs he begs, just please open the door and come with me I want you to be there. I love you! Harry curses for the up tenth time at nobody in particular and still the silence persists. Ron isn't moving or speaking and Harry is beginning to get a little agrivated. He doesn't know why he tries so hard to get Ron to be sociable, but he does. Begging, pleading, asking, nothing works the door remains closed and still Ron is quiet.

**Don't we get to be happy?**

**At some point down the line**

**Don't we get to relax?**

**Without some new tsuris**

**To push me yet further from you?**

**If I'm cheering on your side**

**Why can't you support mine?**

**Why do I have to feel**

**I've committed some felony**

**Doing what I always swore I would do?**

Ron has no idea what these fights are doing to their relationship, that's the problem, not the parties but these STUPID FIGHTS! There really isn't any need for Ron to turn every invitation to every party into a huge fight...but he does. He wants Harry to sit at home with him every single night and not see anybody else. Well Harry needs some sort of life, Ron goes to parties with friends all the time and Harry always goes if he has a splitting headache or if hes tired, Ron NEEDS to do the same.

**I don't want you to hurt**

**I don't want you to sink**

**But you know what I think?**

**I think you'll be fine!**

**Just hang on and you'll see-**

**But don't make me wait till you do**

**To be happy with you**

**Will you listen to me?**

**No one can give you courage**

**No one can thicken your skin**

**I will not fail so you can be comfortable**

I will not lose because you can't win

Harry's leaving and Ron knows the address if he changes his mind and decides to be the good partner that he swore he'd be. Ron's always been a little low in the self-esteem department but that never stopped him before but suddenly that's all changed and no matter how hard Harry tries to convince him otherwise, he isn't important. Ron should know that Harry wouldn't have survived very long in the wizarding world without him and Harry tells him constantly but it never has any effect. Ron's taken down just as many dark wizards, he's saved the world just as Harry but still it's never enough for him.

**If I didn't believe in you**

**Then here's where the travelogue ends**

**If I didn't believe in you**

**I couldn't have stood before all of our friends**

**And said, 'This is the life I choose-**

**This is the thing I can't bear to lose**

**Trip us or trap us, but we refuse to fall'**

**That's what I thought we agreed on**

**If I hadn't believed in you**

**I wouldn't have loved you at all**

Harry comes home a few hours later to the door, still closed and Ron still quiet. He looks at their wedding picture and shakes his head with sadness. It wasn't supposed to turn out like this. They were supposed to be happy. Harry tries to make a comfortable bed for himself before talking to the door for a few minutes. He still loves him and wishes that he'd come out. Please? Could Ron just do that for him please?? Still no answer, and Harry decides it's late and he needs his sleep. He tosses and turns being stuck on the couch is no fun but Ron still refuses to believe him.

**The song is If I Didn't Believe in You from the musical "The Last Five Years"**


End file.
